apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
