i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
