I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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