he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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