I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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