I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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