You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
