He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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