I hate your face
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
