So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
