Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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