Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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