I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
