Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
