This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
