My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
