Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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