It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
