you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish you could order shots online.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
