I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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