I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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