He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
