He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
