Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
