My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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