This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
