Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
