I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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