Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
