I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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