I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
