Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize