found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
