Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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