Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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