that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
