I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
