Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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