I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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