grandma shit on top of the toilet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
