it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
