Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
