Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
