do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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