Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
