what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
