Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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