Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
