after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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