I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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