im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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