I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's official drugs can't kill me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
