im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize