did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
