Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
