My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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