Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
