They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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