omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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