I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
