i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
