He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Will you blow on my dice?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize