In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
