I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
