We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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