lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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