Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
